Extraordinary Times

Extraordinary Times 35: How Can White Families Teach Their Children About Experiences of Families of Color?

Families of color teach their children what to expect outside of their homes; what to look out for, heightened sensitivity, safety issues and behavioral expectations. 

White families do not need to wait for a newsworthy event to occur to begin teaching their kids how families of color are treated differently. Use examples that are developmentally appropriate for your childrens’ ages and encourage them to ”keep an eye out” to help others if they need an ally.

Extraordinary Times 34: Is There a Right Way to Talk About Race?

There is no one ‘right way’ to talk to children about race.  Mistakes are bound to be made and this needs to be an ongoing conversation; not a one-time discussion.  Parents need to initiate conversations about race to help teach them to be more sensitive to the many ways people of color are treated unfairly.

Helps kids understand that when they follow others who do not treat others with respect and empathy, they are doing the wrong thing.  Teach children that it is the always right to speak up when they see people of color being treated unfairly.

Extraordinary Times 33: Why Will Psychological Problems Get Worse as We Resume Our Lives?

During the first few months of the quarantine, most people were on “auto-pilot” and making every preparation to take care of their basic needs.  While anxiety and panic were obvious, we did not prioritize our psychological state because there were “more important” needs to attend to immediately; food, shelter, income, and more.  This is normal and not unhealthy.

As we resume our lives and return to work, leave the house more often and safely, find ways to properly interact with other people, our focus on the basic needs relaxes and our psychological needs become more obvious as we may become more symptomatic.  These feelings and experiences are normal and it is imperative that we acknowledge and accept the intense level of emotionality with which we have been living.

If you are unable to cope with your emotions as they surface, give yourself the advantage of consulting a mental health specialist to talk, to process, understand, and learn more about how this crisis has impacted you and learn healthy ways to cope with and resolve your overwhelming emotions.

Extraordinary Times 32: Re-opening May Create More Anxiety Than Quarantine

While we complained and panicked at the thought and reality of lockdown, we found we felt safe in our protected, controlled “bubble.”  As we re-enter, many are experiencing more anxiety than ever before. You are not alone! Many are experiencing more fear, worry, mistrust, anxiety and panic as we are able to gradually move around in the world.

• These fears are real and sensible, since we have no ability to control how others behave in public.  
• We have different opinions about re-entry from others in our family, which may cause increased familial conflict.  
• Kids may overhear and sense their parents’ anxiety about re-entry and may become more symptomatic themselves.

Families need to compromise and address re-entry issues collaboratively in a way that attempts to meet each person’s needs without putting anyone into a totally uncomfortable position.  If you are unable to find a way to reduce anxiety to re-enter the world, you may want to consult a professional mental health care provider.

We are stronger when we move ahead together; on the same page, rather than in conflict and further upsetting the others around you.

Extraordinary Times 31: Isolation as an Opportunity

Isolation is most-often associated with depression and suicidality.  Let’s try to re-frame isolation to see how it may be an opportunity for growth.

• Try something new
• Learn to be patient with yourself
• Give yourself extra room to dream and prioritize
• Isolation as an opportunity for growth, reflection, development
• Reframe as peaceful time

Extraordinary Times 30: Siblings Getting Along Better During Quarantine

We might expect sibling rivalry and conflict to intensify during the pandemic, but many families are seeing just the opposite; siblings are getting along better!

There are several reasons for this phenomenon, and we can see this as one of the “silver linings” of coronavirus.

• Parents are more available and kids are competing for parents’ time that used to be more limited.
• Kids don’t have friends to play with and siblings have become playmates.

Parents can help reduce rivalry by:

• Give each child time alone with the parent.
• More hands-on teaching about the benefits of sharing, taking turns, and valuing each other.
• Give each child a turn to be “in charge” of the others.
• Reflect on the nice things the kids did together each day.