Tips to Maintain Intimacy in Marriage

1. Do things together (even if they aren’t your favorite things) Spending time together is what memories and sharing are made of. Just because you have different interests, you do not have to always separate to “do your own thing.” It is important to be sensitive to your partner’s interests and hobbies and to spend time showing your partner that their life and their passions are important to you because they are so important to them.

2. Prioritize each other once in a while and be a sincere, good listener – It is very easy to become distracted with our private lives; our work, our kids, our responsibilities to friends and family…and often we short-change our partner by thinking ‘they will always be there later.’ They drop down in the hierarchy of our priorities and after a while we feel that we no longer hold a place of importance in our partner’s life. It is important to spend time truly listening to one another. Make your partner your priority some of the time. Your relationship may not be able to withstand years and years of ‘putting it on hold.’

3. Schedule private time regularly – There is never enough time to get everything done and everyone taken care of, so if you wait until all else is completed to spend quality time together – it will never come. You must schedule time to be alone, to go out on a date, and have quiet, private time to be together to focus on the two of you and your relationship.
Lori Kanat Edelson, LMSW, LMFT
Psychotherapist, Owner and Director of Birmingham Maple Clinic; a private outpatient mental health clinic employing approximately 35 psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, licensed marriage and family therapists and more. Birmingham Maple Clinic has been providing outpatient mental health services to families and individuals in the South Eastern area of Oakland County, Michigan for over 40 years.

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